Practical
During my college days there was a competitionfor cross country race that was around 8 kms.to my surprise i found my best friend JHON whowas too lazy and never use to take part in anycompetition came first in that race. when he reachedthe finishing line, me and my friends went towish him. I told him "Jhon u made it and u provedthat u can win the race too." but Jhon insteadshouted at me and said " WHO LET THE DOG BESIDE ME"
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November 11, 2009
During my college days i went to participateslow bicycle race competetion, I came first in the competetion, when i went to claim mytrophy, my principal kicked me out from hisoffice saying that the trophy goes to theperson who came in the last, because itsSLOW BICYCLE RACE.
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Views: 17 |
November 11, 2009
Isn't it fnuny taht yuo cna sitll raed tihs massege enve touhgh ist speelld inocretcly?OLL! :p
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Views: 23 |
November 11, 2009
R.A.P.:RetardsAttemptingPoetry
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Views: 26 |
November 11, 2009
my wife is too afraid of cockroaches,one fine day i heard scream of my wife.she saw a cockroach and was screaming. i asked her totake the killing spray and to spray on the cockroach.she took the spray and turned to me and said,"THIS SPRAY IS ONLY TO KILL THE MUSQUITOS," andhow can it works for the cockroach,I said to her. "Don't show the lable to the cockroach"
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November 11, 2009
Is It Better To Be a Jock or a Nerd?$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.$ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.$ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.$ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.$ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.$ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.$ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.$ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.$ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.$ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.$ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.$ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.$ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.$ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.Amazing isn't it? However...$ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
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November 11, 2009
A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager?" he said, flashing some large bills around. "I've got $500.00 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer and straighter than anybody here at this club. In fact, he hits it 500 yards right down the middle . . . every time!" Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing. After a moment, the newest pro at the club and the longest hitter in the area spoke up, "I gotta see this!" he said. "You know, what? I'll take you up on that wager! Meet you on the first tee." When they reached the 585-yard par-5 first tee the trainer led the gorilla to the tee box, put a driver in his hands, set a tee in the ground. The gorilla did the rest. Sure enough, he smashed his drive right down the middle and clear out of sight. When the ball finally came to rest it was on the green -- 6 inches from the cup. The pro was astonished. "That's incredible!" he exclaimed. "How did you train him to hit the ball like that!" There's no need for me to tee off. I couldn't beat him with a stick. Here's your money." As the pro walked off the green, still shaking his head, he turned back to the trainer and said, "Oh, by the way, how does he putt?" The trainer responded, "Just like he drives: 500 yards. Right down the middle. Every time."
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November 11, 2009
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Just like they did every day. Abe turned to Sol and asked, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?" Soloman thought about it for a minute and replied, "I dunno, Abe, but let's make a deal: If I die first, I will come back and tell you -- and if you die first, you come back and tell me --if there is baseball in heaven." They shook on it. Sadly, a few months later poor Abe passed on. One day soon afterward, Sol was sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he heard a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...." Sol responded, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is Sol," whispered the spirit of Abe. Sol, still amazed, asked, "So, is there baseball in heaven?" "Well," Abe said, "I got good news and I got bad news." "Gimme the good news first," said Sol. Abe said, "Well... there is baseball in heaven." Sol said, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?" Abe sighed and whispered, "You're pitching on Friday."
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November 11, 2009
What is the difference between baseball and law?In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.
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November 11, 2009
TOP 10 REASONS BASEBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...10. IT IS LEGAL TO PLAY PROFESSIONALLY 9. YOU CAN COUNT ON IT AT LEAST 4 TIMES A WEEK 8. YOU HAVE A COACH TO TELL YOU WHEN TO ADVANCE 7. WHEN YOU ARE TIRED, YOU ALWAYS GET RELIEVED 6. IF YOU STRIKE OUT ONCE, YOU STILL HAVE AT LEAST 2 MORE TIMES TO GET A HIT 5. UP TO 4 PEOPLE CAN SCORE AT ONCE 4. POP UPS ARE FREQUENT 3. 30,000 PEOPLE CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE 2. AFTER 7 INNINGS, YOU GET TO STRETCH 1. YOU CAN GET A HOMERUN WITHOUT ANY FOREPLAY
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November 11, 2009
