Medicine
The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S"What's that?", the patient asks."It's a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis."The patient wants to know if there's a cure, to which the Doctor responds,"We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing butpancackes.""Why only pancackes?", asks the patient.The Doctor answers, "They're the only thing that will fit under the door."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 62 |
November 11, 2009
After years with a psychiatrist, a man who thought he was a dog was declared cured. A friend asked him how he felt now. The former patient replied, "Fine! Just feel my nose."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 5 |
November 11, 2009
One of Sigmund Freud's early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying.Her friend begged her to share what was wrong."Oh, it's just terrible," she wailed. "Today the doctor told me I'm in love with my father, and. . .and. . .and you know, he's a married man!"
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 21 |
November 11, 2009
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was ittrue, the woman wanted to know, that the medication thedoctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life?She was told that it was.There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 23 |
November 11, 2009
Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 6 |
November 11, 2009
Sobel goes into the optometrist's office.He opens the door and says to the receptionist, "I think I need my eyeschecked."She says, "You're not kidding. This is the Ladies Room."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 9 |
November 11, 2009
A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and hewas advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor,and the doctor said, "All right, let's check you out. You sit down hereon this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and readthat chart on the wall over there." He puts his left hand over his left eye. The doctor says, "No, no,no. Put your right hand over your right eye." This old person puts both hands over both eyes. The doctor is nowgetting upset. The patient continues to screw up, and the doctorreally gets mad and says, "All right, I'll fix you!" He gets a paperbag out of the closet, puts one hole in it, puts it over his head, andsays, "Now, read that chart!" The guy read it perfect! The doctor takes the bag off, and this old person starts cryinglike a baby. The doctor says, "Now, what the hell is wrong with you?" "Well, when I first came in here, I had my heart set on wire frames!"
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 7 |
November 11, 2009
Name something a duck can do, that a doctor won't.Stick his bill up his ass.
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 9 |
November 11, 2009
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist.She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely.I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me.Can you help me accept my ugliness?""I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 14 |
November 11, 2009
A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog stuck to his head.Doctor: How did this happen?Frog: It started with a bump on my ass.
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 6 |
November 11, 2009
