Lawyer
|A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 11 |
November 11, 2009
|A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains."How much does it cost for engineer brain?""Three dollars an ounce.""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""Four dollars an ounce.""How much for lawyer brain?""$1,000 an ounce.""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 7 |
November 11, 2009
|Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 17 |
November 11, 2009
|Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It?s my nut!"The first squirrel said, "That?s not fair! I saw it first!""Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn?t quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I?ll take the meat."
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 8 |
November 11, 2009
What do you call a sky-diving club for lawyers?Skeet.
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 8 |
November 11, 2009
It was so cold last week I saw a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 55 |
November 11, 2009
What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?Briefs!! ha!ha!
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 4 |
November 11, 2009
Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor, and a businessman, belonging to the same exclusive club had made a pact. When one dies, they agreed, the others will lay $5,000 each on his coffin so he'll have some spending money in the after life. Well, one day the professor passes away. At his funeral the three friends took turns going up to the coffin and paying their respects. The doctor was first, laying 50 $100 bills inside the casket. Next was the businessman, tearfully placing his $5,000 cash next to his deceased friend. Then the lawyer approached the coffin ..... wrote out a check for $15,000 ... laid it in the casket, and picked up the 10 grand in cash.
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 5 |
November 11, 2009
3 dudes die a lawyer, police man, and a doctorat the pearly gates the police man walks up 2 saint peter and says "I have put criminals away and stopped many crimes like murder, can I getinto heaven?"Saint Peter: "um sorry we're sorta having a party so no"the doctor walks up 2 saint peter and says"I have saved many lives and helped people feel better, can I get into heaven?"Saint Peter: "nope we're kinda busy right now"the lawyer walks up and says "I've sued many people, can I get into heaven?"Saint Peter: "sure come on in! join the party!"the police man and the doctor walk up to saint peter and ask "why'd he get in and not us?"Saint Peter: "we dont get many of his kind around here."
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 16 |
November 11, 2009
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains."How much does it cost for engineer brain?""Three dollars an ounce.""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""Four dollars an ounce.""How much for lawyer brain?""$1,000 an ounce.""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
Read more |
Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 8 |
November 11, 2009
