Gross

cheddar twist

There was a young woman from leath.
who could circumcise men with her teeth.
It wasnt for fame.
Or love of the game.
But to get to the cheese underneath.

Corn Hole

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the St. Patricks Day holiday. He was getting bored with just sitting at the truck stop cafe, so he decided to go for a few beers. After about the 4th one, he had to use the bathroom badly. He went into the bathroom, and he was peeing, lhe ooked into the next stall and noticed a leprechaun whose penis was HUGE!
"Let me ask you something...how come short guys have bigger peckers than tall guys?"

In his heavy Irish accent, the leprechaun looked up and said, "I dont know laddy, i"m a leprechaun".

With that, the trucker reached out and grabbed him and said, "Well guess what? I caught ya!"

"Aye lad, that ya did, but your wishes wont come true until tomorrow morning".

The trucker was confused by this, "Why not? Youre a leprechaun, I caught ya, so you are supposed to grant me 3 wishes."

"Well", began the leprechaun, "you dont know anything about us leprechauns. We get a day of the year off and it happens to be St. Patricks Day." Well, the trucker understanding this made his 3 wishes. He wanted to own his trucking company, he wanted every woman he saw to desire his body and he wanted 10 million dollars in the bank, tax free. The leprechaun said it would be done in the morning. On his way out of the restroom, the leprechaun says, "Lad, would you like to have your wishes come true tonight?"

"Well yeah, but whats the catch?", came the reply. "Well, you gotta let a leprechaun corn-hole ya." The trucker, at first protested, but then the leprechaun reminded him of all that he would be gaining in few precious moments. Thinking about the money, the company becoming his and ALL those women, he agreed but told the leprechaun not to tell anyone. When it was all over, the leprechaun was getting ready to leave, turned to the trucker and said, "Laddy, can I ask ya a question?"

"Sure", says the trucker.

"How old are ya now?"

"I"m 40 years old" says the trucker.

With that, the leprechaun says, "You mean to tell me that youre 40 years old and still believe in leprechauns?"

Canadian Gum

A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a diner when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Michigan man politely ignored the Canadian, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The Canadian snapped his gum and said, "You Michigan folk eat the whole bread?"
The Michigan man sighed, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."

The Canadian blew a huge bubble. "We dont. In Canada, we only eat whats inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Michigan." The Canadian had a smirk on his face.

The Michigan man listened in silence. The Canadian persisted. "D"ya eat jelly with the bread?"

The Michigan man rolled his eyes and replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Canadian said, "We dont. In Canada, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Michigan."

The Michigan man then asked, "Do you have sex in Canada?" The Canadian smiled and said, "Why of course we do." The Michigan leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you"ve used them?"

"We throw them away, of course."

The Michigan smiled and said, "We dont. In Michigan, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the Canadians."

Cubist Poo

Who is the famous artist with brown fingers?
Pic-ass-o.

Hiney Bubbles

Whats gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
Whats grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

The fart go honda

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."
The doctor says, "You say, "Honda?""

"No," the guy says. "My farts do."

So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.

After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I"m sorry, I cant help you, you need to go see a dentist."

The guy says, "Why a dentist?"

The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."

The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?"

The doctor says, "Well, didnt you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"

Hormonally Yours

Whats the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You cant hear an enzyme.

Hot Dog

Guy walks into a restaurant. He sits down and this ugly waitress comes over. He then orders a hamburger with catsup and a hot dog. So five minutes later the waitress comes back with a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. So the man asks, ?Wheres the burger??
Then the waitress lifts up her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit and says, ?I was keeping it warm.?

Disgusted he says, ?Please cancel my hotdog...?

I Dont Like My Brother

Cannibal Son: Mom, I dont like my brother anymore!
Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!

Fire truck

Q: Why is a fire truck red?
A: If someone pulled your hose you would turn red too.