Entertainment

Moby Dick

What is Moby Dicks fathers name?
Papa Boner.

Movie Prices

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldnt help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."

"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "Youre really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."

Mozart Beyond the Grave

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, thats Mozarts Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "Theres the Eighth Symphony, and its backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "Theres the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, theres nothing to worry about. Its just Mozart decomposing."

Chinese amusment parks

Why are there no amusement parks in China?
Because no one is tall enough to ride the rides!

Ho Ho Ho

What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A jolly green giant.

Knock knock... Britney Spears

Knock knock
Whos there?

Britney Spears

Britney Spears who?

Knock knock

Whos there?

Oops I did it again!

Mike Tyson and Metallica

What do Mike Tyson and a Metallica concert have in common?
At a Metallica concert you get ringing in the ears, and at a Mike Tyson fight, you get ears in the ring!

Kurt Co-brain

What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him!

Mimes

Whats black and white and red all over?
Mimes in a chainsaw fight.

Laffin" Smurfs

Why do smurfs laugh as they walk through the forest?
Because the grass tickles their balls!