Dirty
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
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Views: 13 |
November 11, 2009
One day in the convent the nuns had their morning prayer session. At the end of the prayer session the head nun stood up and addressed the rest of the nuns. She said, "There was a man in the convent last night." 99 of the nuns go ohhh, and 1 of them goes hee hee hee.The head nun goes on, "We found a condom in the garden." Again 99 of the nuns go ohhhh, 1 nun goeshee hee hee.The head nun continues "There was a hole in that condom." 99 nuns go hee hee hee, 1 nun goes ohhh.
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November 11, 2009
What's the speed limit of sex?68 cause at 69 you gotta turn around
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Views: 12 |
November 11, 2009
A gentleman is permitted to join a private club. The initiation consists of holding an unprepared on-the-spot lecture, on a theme starting on a letter which is alotted to him.The man gets an S, and chooses to give his impromptu lecture on Sex. Coming home and reporting to his wife, he chickens out and says that he spoke about Sailing.The next day, his wife meets a club member who says her hubby gave a very good lecture last night -hawhawhaw. Wife: "That's strange, I must say. He has only done it twice. The first time he got sick, and the second time he lost his hat."
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Views: 23 |
November 11, 2009
One day a kid asks his mom if he can take a shower with her. She says, "Sure son, but don't look up and don't look down."So they're taking a shower and the kid reaches up for the soap and he says, "Woo mama! What are those?"She says, "Those are my headlights." The kid says "Ahh."Then he drops the soap and bends down to get it and he says, "Woo mama! What is that?" and she replies back with, "That is my garage." The kid says "Ahh."The next day he asks his dad if he can take a shower with him. The kid does. As he's scrubbing himself with the soap,he drops it. When he picks it up he says, "Woo daddy! What is that?" The father replies back, "That's my limousine."That night he asks his parents if he could sleep with them and they say, "Sure, just don't look under the covers."Then in the middle of the night he decides to take a peek. And he says "Wooo mama! Look, daddy is parking his limousine in your garage!"
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Views: 14 |
November 11, 2009
The biology teacher at the all-girls academy was handing back a test on the male anatomy. "I don't understand why you girls can't understand the male sex organ. You've had it pounded into you all semester!"
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Views: 19 |
November 11, 2009
A guy's car breaks down in the middle of town, and he looks for a hotel to stay in while he waits for his car to be fixed. He finds a very small hotel and walks in.He asks the man at the counter, "Do you have any rooms available?"The man at the counter says, "Yeah, but don't stick your dick in the 3 holes.""OK." The guy agrees and walks to his room. A couple of days go by and his car is still in the shop. He gets curious and sticks his dick in the first hole. He says,"Ahh,that feels good!" Then he sticks his dick in the second hole,"Ahh,that feels even better!" Then he sticks his dick in the third hole,"OUCH!!My dick!!"He quickly pulled his dick out and it was all bloody. He was very confused, but he went to sleep. The next day he went to the counter to see what was in the holes, but before he could ask anything the man at the counter said, "You stuck your dick in the three holes didn't you?"He said, "Yeah, how did you know? "The man at the counter said, "Well, my wife is pregnant,my daughter is pregnant, and my pencil sharpener is broken.
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Views: 19 |
November 11, 2009
A cucumber and a pickle were having a conversation. The pickle said to the cucumber, "I got it bad man, everytime I get big, fat and juicy I get seasoned and put in a jar."The cucumber said to the pickle, "Well everytime I get big, fat and juicy I get chopped up and out over salad."The penis walks by and overhears them and says, "I got it worse than you both. When I get big, fat and juicy I get put in a dark, smelly room and they make me do push-ups till I throw up."
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November 11, 2009
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty !" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.
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Views: 15 |
November 11, 2009
What's an Australian kiss?The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!
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Views: 14 |
November 11, 2009
