Bar
|A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.The first man then asks: "Where are you from?""I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.""Of course," replies the second man.I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?""Dublin," comes the reply."I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.""Of course," replies the second man.Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?""Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62.""This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender."Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 19 |
November 11, 2009
|A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer."Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman."Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice."You're under 18," replies the barman.
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 20 |
November 11, 2009
|I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 19 |
November 11, 2009
|A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 20 |
November 11, 2009
|Two men walked into a bar.You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 18 |
November 11, 2009
|Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 15 |
November 11, 2009
|10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.6. You can focus better with one eye closed.5. You fall off the floor.5. The whole bar greets you when you come in.4. You haven't had a driver's license in such a long time that you have forgotten what one looks like.3. Roseanne looks good.2. You don't recognize your wife/husband unless seen through bottom of glass. 1. You spent more time on the floor than you do standing up.
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 13 |
November 11, 2009
|A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 11 |
November 11, 2009
|A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.When he went back to his beer, the voice said again "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts--they're complimentary."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 12 |
November 11, 2009
|A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator," he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
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Rate: 5.0 |
Views: 11 |
November 11, 2009
